Country Living

Out in the sticks, we love our animals - horses, dogs, chickens, donkeys, and sometimes even a cat thrown in to help with rodent control.  The thing about animals is… they die.  My poor sweet boys got to experience this little life lesson today and I am feeling like I really should have handled it differently.

My dad called me this morning and told me that Batty, his rooster, died.  Now, this may not be front page news to the rest of the world, but around here, this is tragic.  You see Batty is a beloved pet at the Rockin’ B.  He was named by Aiden because when he held him upside down his wings spread out like a bat – hence the name.  Every time we go to my parent’s house, Aiden makes a mad dash to the barn to scoop Batty up in his arms and he carries him around for hours at a time.  When I say he was a pet, it is quite an understatement - he was truly worshiped.  His death is attributed to the circle of life.  Bobcat tracks were found in the mud, so he was most likely Mr. Bob’s midnight snack.  My dad told me that we could tell the boys that Batty was missing.  Not one to be told how to handle a situation, I decided it would be best to tell the boys the truth.  This is simply a way of life and I didn’t want to lie to them.  I now regret my choice to be so forthcoming with my sweet little boys.

We pulled into the house after getting the boys from school and I decided this was the time.  I shut off the car and told them I had some bad news.  And then – I absolutely ruined their day.  Happy Cinco de Mayo children – aren’t you happy your mother loves honesty?  No, I am sure they also wish I would have lied.  And so, through crying eyes, my beloved little sweeties asked me questions about Batty.  Is he going to be okay?  Can we check on him?   Is he going to the chicken hospital – and I have to be honest here, this one almost made me laugh out loud, but I hid my smirk as best I could and soldiered on.  We talked it out for a while and I apologized for Batty’s demise a million and one times.  I then decided it was time to move on from this devastating conversation and suggested sweet tea and cupcakes.  While Jackson initially agreed, he didn’t touch more than a single lick on the icing before he was crying again.  Aiden denied the invitation right up front, preferring to ride his bicycle instead.  I let him go – who am I to decide how one can best handle the grief of a dead rooster? 

Jackson wanted to know again why he couldn’t check on Batty.  So, again, I am into this conversation about the bobcat.  He went through body parts one by one asking, did the Bobcat eat his feathers, his beak, his tummy, etc.  Poor baby… he was crying at every answer – why didn’t I just lie?  And then, since we discussed that Batty is in heaven with Jesus, he asked if he could go to heaven too.  This is SO not how I pictured this day.  I had to explain that it just isn’t time for him to go to heaven, but that Jesus will take good care of Batty for us and they will be happy together.  And then he said, well, Aiden died and went to heaven, why can’t I go?  I think Jackson has the wrong mother.  I really need a rocket scientist or at least a theologian to be available to answer all of these questions I simply do not know how to answer.   I do my best to explain that it was not Aiden’s time to leave and Jesus brought him back to life to show other people his power and grace.  I might as well been describing to him why we don’t wear white after labor day.  He did not want to hear what I had to say.  In the end, we dried his tears and went outside to play.  Oh Lord, please help me raise these boys without messing them up too bad!  My greatest fear is to get a psychiatrist bill on mother’s day when they are in their 40s.  I promise I am trying to do my best down here, but your blessing would be greatly appreciated!

Love to all!